belmont avenue east

sun leaping from the planes of your face

no coat

talking at the viaduct

first warm day of the year

darling

what did you say?

I’m drifting somewhere pull me back in

I’ve been alone so long I

forgot the sound of my own voice

black and white tile I’ve cleaned

over

and

over

fermenting things for no one

writing things for no one

while I think of you smiling across the table

at someone else

miles and miles from here

I go to the grocery store

for something to do

I read in a different chair

for something to do

a bad time!

but I won’t drink alone

on principle?

I want to tie sheets to the balcony while I

cling

to the bare mattress

but it’s fucking raining again

I didn’t understand what you meant when you said

you feared the dusk

Advertisements

you’re in d.c. now and you never think about me I mean why would you

want to make small cuts

on the soft parts of the back of your knees

it’s warmer

than it was three hours ago

but the night!

is still wet

it rubs

against my cheek

my head in your neck

bike leaning against the car

wreckage

no one can see

they’re explaining French politics

on the radio and I’m

thinking about fig spread that isn’t yours

spitting up pain pills

into a trash can on 1st and Oltorf

accordions for legs

my love

I know now

why things that are sweet are heavy

jesus candles

to the winter I wore tights

because I wanted to feel

your hands

on my thighs while we rode

across town

on the train looking for music

to keep us whole

looking for people

who didn’t care

or at least seemed like they didn’t

yellow streetlights

were the goal

dirty pillowcases

were the goal

a non-self was the goal

so ok yes

here’s to the winter I wore tights

because I wanted to