Chicago

looks good to me. this is fine. approved.

hosting angels is easy when you’re all alone

no

complications

till they go off and invite you to gatherings

specifically! mentioning who will not be present

you’ve forgotten

the scourge of December in previous years

wrecking you and decorating you

with an excess of vowels you cannot spit out

wishing you could

let someone complete your sentences for you

or even!

pull words from your throat when your tongue is otherwise occupied

searching the walls for thumbtacks

(leftover)

and yet

I must say that heel-to-snow feels better already

gold in your glass feels better

already

and I think this time I’ll

listen to the deck

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cool looking stick

six blighted trees all in a row

tangled

mess

on the weekends I like to lie

in bed with your absence

rubbing

out the knots in my neck

checking

to see if you’ve appeared

but

still

no

I’m restless

and not doing anything about it

imagining horrible things

cutting

the pieces of rope that hold my eyeballs in their sockets

dropping

them into a jar

better now, better now

jesus candles

to the winter I wore tights

because I wanted to feel

your hands

on my thighs while we rode

across town

on the train looking for music

to keep us whole

looking for people

who didn’t care

or at least seemed like they didn’t

yellow streetlights

were the goal

dirty pillowcases

were the goal

a non-self was the goal

so ok yes

here’s to the winter I wore tights

because I wanted to