urban

bad feelings club

here they come gnawing

relentless

impervious to threats and kicks to the throat

under stale skies

clouds (finally)

but even they’re dried up

what a mess.

less than zero is?

who fucking knows or cares

smells like maple syrup and shawarma on this side of town

don’t mind.

kind of like it.

miss home though.

amaranth by the pound

or was it teff?

can’t recall

wonder if you’re taking care of the skyline like I asked

probably not

got things of your own I’m sure

saw a picture of some trees you took from below

wasn’t that great of a shot but

maybe you were happy when you took it?

not me though

not even

the power of my own thighs can cheer me tonight

maybe if I pedal hard enough

I will take flight

or

option two (just as good)

my tire will clip a rock and I’ll be thrown from the planet

into the night/onto cement

where all the blood trapped for 20 odd years

will rush to the wound

(an escape!)

and I’ll be left quiet and waiting for someone to notice me

in death as in life

and the local authorities will find my phone with this poem on it

and my grocery list

(cashews, eggs, “good” cheese)

and texts I should have taken care

to delete oh well

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wood panels and hanging

lights like hoses I once

thought of

escaping

with

dying

for some fog or at least

wet stone

houses up the hillside

all contain

innards in jars aching quietly falling

crouching

on the steps of a warehouse

in the red light

artificial

far from blood

or tree bark

wrap me up in sheets I don’t care

if you washed them

recently

they were out of the blue flavor I’m sorry

open sky

heat rising

when did this get away from us?

seas immeasurable!

head west!

we spun around in circles of sage

just in case

but now it’s only this bench at

fifth and congress and

the throbbing

in my brain has become visible

to passersby

number four bus is late and

I’m thinking about how

once upon a time long long ago we were

wrapped in blankets

reading

about k-holes on the internet